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Anxiety Series (Part 4): It's Not "MY" Anxiety

Anxiety does not define who we are. You are NOT your anxiety. In fact, I try my best to not even use that phrase “your anxiety" or "my anxiety.” Yes, anxiety is a part of us but it’s not all of us. And it certainly doesn’t determine who we are or who we’ll be in the future. Anxiety is not a personality characteristic. It’s an emotional reaction to the stressors of life. This is why we shouldn’t identify with it. 


Think of who you can be without all that worrying.

There’s a whole other spirit beneath that worrying just waiting to be freed!

Anxiety

To separate yourself from the anxiety and to essentially free yourself, let's start with your self talk. I’m going to give you a few suggestions on your self talk that I want you to use everyday, several times a day. What we say to ourselves we end up believing. Right now you may believe you have no control over the anxiety so we need to rework and replace those negative belief systems.


Write these down and carry these suggestions with you where you have easy access to it. Write it in your phone or take a picture of it. Write it on a sticky note or a whiteboard where you see them often. 

  

  • Monitor how you talk about anxiety to others and in your own mind. Avoid saying MY anxiety… say THE anxiety instead.  

  • Use a mantra like- Anxiety DOES NOT control me; Anxiety DOES NOT define me. 

  • Use positive affirmations such as- I am calm; I am strong; I can do this; Relax; Breathe.

  • Feel free to come up with your own suggestions as well.   


When we’re already feeling pretty anxious these affirmations often end up becoming empty, meaningless words so to ensure we can actually feel their meaning it can be more powerful to say these words out loud and even more powerful to say them while looking at yourself in the mirror. Look yourself right in your eyes. 


Repeat the affirmations in your mind often even when you’re not feeling anxious. It may feel uncomfortable at first if you don’t already believe these statements but keep doing it. Just like anything else, the more you practice the easier it gets and eventually you’ll start believing it. 


Therapy Homework

My favorite technique for saying affirmations, so the words penetrate deep within us, is a quick heart-centered meditation.

  • Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lay.

  • Begin to breath deeply and relax the body and quiet the mind.

  • Place your hand on your heart as if you're speaking directly to your heart and soul.

  • Say these affirmations or your own several times silently or out loud and feel these words move through your body and mind:

I am flexible

I accept life as it is, not as I want it to be

I am at peace


Do this everyday. It's usually easier to make this part of your morning or nighttime routine. At other times of the day this can be done more quickly and simply. Just focus on your breath and your heartbeat and say your affirmations. Use affirmations specific to you and what kind of support you need in the moment.


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For more self-help talks, guided exercises and meditations check out these resources:



Dr. Traci Moreno on Insight Timer- https://insighttimer.com/DrTraci


Free Spirit's YouTube Channel-

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